Joke of the day – 14 tests to take before having kids
Test 1 Preparation Women: To prepare for pregnancy:- 1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. 2. Leave it there. 3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans. Men: To prepare for children:- 1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and […]
Joke of the Day – The Organist
Miss Beatrice, The church organist, was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the priest came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he […]
Joke of the Day – The Fourth Wedding
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. ‘Of course, madam,’ replied the sales clerk, ‘exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?’ The bride to be said, ‘A long, frilly, white […]
A Tale of Love and Marriage – Joke of the day
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. Nearing the final curtain, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater […]
Friday Humour – Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School
Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized […]
How To Know You’re Ready For Parenthood – Joke of the Day
Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, […]
Giving Out Years – Joke of the day
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten […]
Joke of the Day – Crocodile dinner
Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, ‘I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids… I just don’t get it.’ ‘Well,’ said the big […]
This is how Government policy all begins – Joke of the Day
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, […]
Joke of the Day – Cowboy Boots
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Margaret looked him over. “Nope.” Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into […]
