This is how Government policy all begins – Joke of the Day
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, […]
Joke of the Day – Cowboy Boots
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Margaret looked him over. “Nope.” Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into […]
Joke of the day – Human Years
God created the mule, and told him, “You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 35 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 35 years is too much. Please, give me no more […]
Joke of The Day: Marriage Counseling
A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling […]
Joke of The Day – Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog’s parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your […]
Joke of the Day – Back when I was young…
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up. What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year ’round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they […]
Joke of the day – Follow these simple tests before you decide to have children
Test 1 Preparation Women: To prepare for pregnancy:- 1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. 2. Leave it there. 3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans. Men: To prepare for children:- 1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and […]
Woman’s Dictionary, what they really mean
* Yes = No. * No = Yes. * Maybe = No. * I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry. * We need = I want. * It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now. * Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later. * We need to talk = […]
If Men Got Pregnant
If Men Got Pregnant… Maternity leave would last for two years…with full pay. There’d be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s number one health problem. All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effectiveness. Children would be kept in the hospital until […]
A diary of one person's love of snow
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season: we took out cocktails and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print: so romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9: Woke to a blanket […]
