Twas the night before Christmas (in Tipperary)

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the mouse!

The silence was not because all were in bed
They were sitting reading the Tipp Tatler instead.
Six Tatler’s they had and each had their own
And each prayed that Santa, had at least one.

Dad was stretched in his comfy armchair
Reading Tipp Tatler with ne’ry a care
“Some power tools, new TV, a garmin, no less,
And some whiskey and beer from that great off licence”.

Mom was admiring the bargains galore,
At butchers, well listed, with roosters and all.
“Maybe a hairdo, a facial, a tan,
And a new pair of shoes, now that’s a good plan”.

Grandpa and Granny, a Tatler did share
And both felt their hearing, could do with some care,
And a nice fill of oil would keep them all warm,
So the house would be cosy the following Christmas morn.

In a letter to Santa, Johnny  had said
“It’s in the Tipp Tatler, a Nintendo, I beg”,
While Katie was happy that Santa would heed
Those horse riding lessons, she badly did need.

But what of the last mag, now where could it be?
Oh, there they can see it lying under the tree,
But who would have left it lying there on the floor,
That wonderful mag with great adverts galore?

Fido and Felix and Nibbles the Mouse,
Were amazed at the offers, right here in their house.
A holiday in Heaven, great toys for to play
And some wonderful treats, to have every day.

And so the Tipp Tatler can brighten your day
Make Santa’s life easy up there in the sleigh.
Tho’ Christmas is one day, please don’t shed a tear,
Tipp Tatler’s the best bet, throughout the whole year!

written by Kathleen Ryan